crazyhippiemom

Nothing you experience has any meaning until you filter it through your background, your memories and your immediate needs. Our memories run our lives. Which is why when we experience traumatic situations, we can do ourselves such a disservice by projecting past trauma unto the present situation. Instead of objectively looking at an occurrence as just that, an occurrence, we analyze, hypothesize, re-envision, deduce, and every other word that applies, when we come upon situations in life that threaten to challenge us. Of course, we go through the natural phases of grief, and hopefully come out on top at the end of the “phase chain”.

I’ve gone through a few things in my life and have done the projection “thing” and found that it doesn’t work. I’ve tried meditation, prayer, reposititioning and other things I can’t really mention in a public forum, many of these have worked, some have not. One thing, however, that is relatively easy and has almost without fail “shored” me up is embracing positive thoughts and people. Positivity is important when you’re faced with a seemingly insurmountable life situation, whether it be bills, children, health, family, etc. You can absolutely create a serene and stress-free mental environment by focusing on what is good. I’ve assembled a few tips that have helped me over the years to move beyond the hurt, grief and negative aspects of my situations. Employ them and see if they work for you.

1. Appreciate what you have right now - everyone has something to appreciate, find it and start appreciating it. Whether big or small, it could be your dog, your stuffed animal, your imaginary friend, Charlie…whatever it is, appreciate that it’s right there with you, in the moment.

2. Spend time with positive people - stop hanging out with Negative Nelly and Sourpuss Susie, delete their cell numbers from your phone, stop taking their calls…you know it’s going to be a pity party and you will be the honored guest. Pity parties don’t help you heal, they keep you hurting.

3. Focus on Positive thoughts - When you find yourself wondering, “Why did this happen to me?”, determine to change your thought process. Determine that you are going to think, “Wow, what an opportunity to learn from a situation like this.” and keep it moving. You’ve got to focus on what good could come of what is going on in your life.

4. Face the facts - Yes, crap happens! Yes, yes, yes. Nobody is asking you to deny the truth. However, you have to face these facts and jump over them just like you do hurdles on the track. The facts are temporary, you just have to look at them that way.

5. Remember this is your path - Don’t trip when others make crazy assessments about what you are going through. Listen, thank them for their “oh, so clear view into your life” and keep it moving. They are not you and they have not experienced whay you’ve experienced so their advice and outlook should be taken with a grain of salt. Trust your instincts, you are on your path not them.

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